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Oh. I am a battery hen, On me back there's not a germ, I never scratched a farmyard, And I never pecked a worm, I never had the sunshine To warm me teathers through, Eggs l lay. Every day. For the likes of you. When you has them scrambled, Piled up on your plate, If's me what you should thank for that, I never lays them late, I always lays them.


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Internet Archive. Language. English. 159 pages. 'The works' was first published in 1992 and contains 120 of her most popular poems written between 1972 and 1992. (From back cover) Access-restricted-item. true. Addeddate.


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All the toffees I chewed, And the sweet sticky food, Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth. I wish I'd been that much more willin'. When I had more tooth there than fillin'. To give up gobstoppers, From respect to me choppers. And to buy something else with me shillin'. When I think of the lollies I licked,


Pam Ayres Some Of Me Poems And Songs (1976, Vinyl) Discogs

Pam Ayres is celebrated in the UK (and far beyond) as a favourite radio, TV and stage entertainer; it is impossible to read her comic poems without hearing her voice in your head. She says that she wrote them to be proclaimed out loud with gusto. Pam Ayres was born in 1947 in Berkshire and left Faringdon Secondary Modern School at the age of 15.


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A thousand Father Christmases, Sat in their little huts, And folk was buying crackers And folk was buying nuts. All up and down the country, Before the light was snuffed, Turkeys they get murdered, And cockerels they got stuffed, Christmas cakes got marzipanned, And puddin's they got steamed Mothers they got desperate And tired kiddies screamed.


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Pamela Ayres MBE (born 14 March 1947) is a British poet, comedian, songwriter and presenter of radio and television programmes. Her 1975 appearance on the television talent show Opportunity Knocks led to appearances on other TV and radio shows, a one-woman touring stage show and performing before The Queen .


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Biography. Pam Ayres has been a writer, broadcaster, and entertainer for over 40 years, and is one of the few authors who has had books in the Sunday Times bestseller charts in almost every decade since the 1970s. Pam is the author of several best-selling poetry collections, including The Works , With These Hands, Surgically Enhanced, You Made.


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Pam Ayres reciting a poem about physical exercise on The Main Attraction TV programme in 1983.


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Reading, writing, and enjoying famous Pam Ayres poetry (as well as classical and contemporary poems) is a great past time. These top poems are the best examples of pam ayres poems. Search and read the best famous Pam Ayres poems, articles about Pam Ayres poems, poetry blogs, or anything else Pam Ayres poem related using the PoetrySoup search.


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Dear mum : poems for mums & their babies by Ayres, Pam, 1947-Publication date 1985 Topics Mothers -- Poetry, Mothers, Poetry in English, 1945- - Texts Publisher London : Severn House Collection inlibrary; printdisabled; internetarchivebooks Contributor Internet Archive Language English. 64 unnumbered pages ; 21 cm


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The damage to the ozone layer, refugees, drugs, These may defeat the brain of any politician bloke, But present it to my husband, he will solve it at a stroke. He'll clarify the situation, he will make it crystal clear, You'll feel the glazing of your eyeballs and the bending of your ear, You may lose the will to live, you may feel your.


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Pam Ayres brings her characteristic charm and wit to this beautifully illustrated (by Joel Stewart), poetic satire on country life. The official website of writer, broadcaster and entertainer Pam Ayres. Featuring official poems, news, tour dates, books, DVDs and everything you ever wanted to know about Pamโ€ฆ.


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Goodwill To Men - Give Us Your Money. It was Christmas Eve on a Friday. The shops was full of cheer, With tinsel in the windows, And presents twice as dear. A thousand Father Christmases, Sat in their little huts, And folk was buying crackers. And folk was buying nuts.


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Woodland Burial. To grow resplendent before God and hold some part of me. I'll be tall and standing strongly in the beauty of the sun. 'Woodland Burial' read by the author from Pam Ayres The Broken Woman (Hodder Audiobooks, 2008), original text copyright Pam Ayres 2006, from Surgically Enhanced (Hodder & Stoughton, 2006), used by permission.


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The wait for hip replacements, BSE and foot-and-mouth. Oh, they should have asked my husband, he can sort out any mess, He can rejuvenate the railways, he can cure the NHS. So any little niggle, anything you want to know. Just run it past my husband, wind him up and let him go. Congestion on the motorways, free holidays for thugs,


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Pam Ayres is a poet of the people, her humorous, clever, true-to-life observations has struck a chord and warmed our hearts since the Seventies.. At 15, she left school to work as a clerical assistant, before joining the Women's Royal Air Force. There, she discovered a love for singing and acting, and began writing verses which she performed at a local folk club in Oxford.

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